For most of the last four years (since my last CD came out), I have had a vision of what I want the next CD to be like.
I have pursued that vision through myriad obstacles.
I scheduled time in the studio and then stoically accepted the news that the timing wasn't right for my producer/engineer.
I saved the money necessary to make it happen . . . and after three years of watching it not happen, I spent most of that savings on another dream--a grand piano. I'm not sorry for the piano, but I do feel the lack.
I selected songs and discarded them, wrote songs and then threw them away (often half-done). I questioned if I have any great songs in me . . . songs that will inspire people of all ages to sing.
I contemplated giving up on this vision, but every time I came close, some watery fleece showed up in my path.
And so, tomorrow I am back in the studio. I am back with too little money, with not quite enough songs, with a vision that is much less certain than it was three years ago.
I can't help but believe this is where God wanted me all along: depending on the one who "owns the cattle on a thousand hills," depending on the songs to show up when I need them (like the new one that's been in my head for a week--but is still not quite finished!), depending on the God "who is able to keep me from falling," and feeling certain that I will find joy in this journey.